My ex-partner ‘demanded’ that I pay 50% of our daughter’s medical bills. He earns 3 instances my wage. Is that honest?

So right here’s my query: When there’s an enormous disparity in pay — is 50% of dinner, mortgage, medical payments, trip, utilities and different shared bills justified? 

Wouldn’t a extra equitable resolution be primarily based on revenue? Like if I make $50,000 and my companion makes $150,000, wouldn’t an equitable association be for me to pay 25%? 

I do know now that cash must be a frank and sensible dialogue in any scenario, however I’m questioning what your take is on this. 

Mom Left Holding the Invoice

Pricey Rebecca,

There’s hardly ever such a factor as “honest” in a breakup, particularly in the case of funds. 

If one ex is paying alimony and youngster help, they could go away the wedding with years of lingering resentments over how a lot they must pay their ex. For a pair that had a toddler collectively, and didn’t get married, the problem is extra sophisticated however the absent father or mother is compelled by the legislation to pay youngster help. In that case, youngster help pertains to the accountability for elevating a toddler. 

For fogeys who by no means married, it’s tougher to argue that it’s best to solely pay medical payments in your youngster in proportion to your incomes. Normally, you’d leverage your youngster help to pay for such bills and/or — when acceptable — ask your former companion to pay their share. In case you have been married and divorced, the divorce decree ought to specify how a lot cash every former partner ought to pay for his or her youngster’s schooling, dwelling bills and medical payments. 

Katie Carter, a divorce legal professional with the Hofheimer Household Regulation Agency in Virginia, has opinions on this challenge: “In numerous agreements, I discover that opposing counsel (particularly when the husband earns extra) will attempt to embody that the events will break up the unreimbursed medical bills 50/50,” she writes. “However that’s not the legislation. The legislation says that the events will break up unreimbursed medical bills professional rata – that’s, proportionally, primarily based on their incomes.”

Backside line: “If he earns 80% of the revenue, he pays 80% of the unreimbursed medical bills, she provides. “I’d solely ever comply with a 50/50 break up if the events’ incomes have been equal, or if a pro-rata break up would imply that my shopper would pay extra of the bills. Once more, it’s vital to have a look at these numbers. Even when the excellence is barely 60/40, it could actually make an enormous distinction if there’s (heaven forbid!) a catastrophic accident or a nasty prognosis of some type.”

I’d hate to think about any marriage the place a better incomes partner nickel-and-dimed their companion, forcing them to cough up 50% of a trip or dinner, however these are all good conversations to have forward of time. If each companions are working and you may afford a bigger house as a result of the husband or spouse earns thrice their partner’s wage, it will appear churlish to count on each companions to separate the mortgage or dinner out 50/50. However some folks like to depend!

You can electronic mail The Moneyist with any monetary and moral questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com, and comply with Quentin Fottrell on Twitter.

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